Have you ever thought of it or tried to get your ex back?
It can happen just after the break-up or after another failed relationship, you’re thinking of that ex you never totally got over with.
It happened to me! to think of my exes in the past when I was single again or when I felt lonely. Not so long ago I broke up with someone. We only stayed 3 months together and at this time of the year it can be hard to find yourself single.
I perfectly know that I wouldn’t go back with him, we were not on the same page and it took me 3 months to realise it.
Still, my children were with their dad for 2 weeks and I was quite vulnerable and yes I did think about the ex before this guy ( we stayed 7 years together).
You can be tempted like me to contact an ex either for short term pleasure, human warmth, a presence.. or because you just want him back for good.
What are the questions to ask yourself to avoid regretting it afterwards?
Our brain has a tenancy to forget painful events so first:
- Make a list of why you broke up at the time. It may not have been your choice but imagine yourself with this person again. Imagine a full day/night with him or her. No judgement here!
- List the benefits and the costs of seeing him/her because you feel lonely now. There is no right or wrong but how would you feel about yourself afterwards? Think of your confidence and self-esteem? Are you strong enough to let it not affect you?
- Is it worth it?
- What would help you more right now to rebuild your confidence in life, love, joy?
In my case I didn’t’ contact him but let me the tell you it’s not easy.
- Remember your standards! The 3 things you don’t want to compromise on? It could be respect, commitment, generosity, education, fun, humour, health, .. List your top 3. Did your ex matched them?
You can go on and have fun, you can try to win her/him back. Just before you do think about you! trust your instincts! What would serve you best now and in 1 week, 1 month, 1 year?
Remember if you’re not available because you’re with the wrong person, you can’t be available for the person right for you! I “lost” 3 months with the “wrong person” for me what if I have followed my gut feeling? Well he wouldn’t have past the second date for sure.
There is no one to blame, I feel grateful it happened as now I know better. Even if it’s tempting to be with a person because you feel lonely, if they don’t tick your top 3 non negotiable. you know it will be short term and if you stayed with that person much longer, it can take years to realise it! You certainly know how to spot a red flag!
I can help you discover that by the way, your red flags, your top 3 it’s my job! and it can be so unclear at times. Especially if you stayed too long with someone not suitable or who hurt you. Also sometimes we can have unrealistic expectations but that’s another topic! You can reach out and book a free 30 mn call and find out more! Link at the top or below! 🤗
Don’t waste any more time , Know your top 3, your red flags, your values. Avoid disappointment that can ruin your confidence in one single text, save time, energy for your true love🌟 Book your free session now! https://www.audreyzcoaching.com/bookings-checkout/reinvent-your-life-discovery-call
You can choose!
You know you ex was the one and you want him back
Your just want revenge
You just want a last night
You just want someone and not feel lonely
I can help you understand what’s going on for you and how to feel less lonely without doing anything that will make you feel worse afterwards. Click the link above to book your free call.
You can also download my free gift to help you rediscover your true self.
You’ll find 3 different workbooks and lots of exercises to start your journey of self discovery breakup recovery and confidence building. click below!